From Classmate to Crush

It is definitely not a good idea to get attracted to your classmate. Unfortunately, its not easy. Especially when you have to spend a lot of time with him. And, when he has those hypnotizing eyes and charming smile. His wrist covered with drops of perspiration with tiredness in his breath and masculine aura around him, will only make it tougher to resist your temptations.

I did succumb to the temptation. I had been trying too hard to avoid distractions especially since I found myself working with him on a couple of assignments. All my attempts at picturing him as just another guy and as someone who does not fit into my fantasies, were not successful.

It is becoming impossible to stop my eyes from wandering all over his body.

It was a sultry Saturday afternoon. We had to wait for a couple of hours. He dozed off sitting on a chair. He was wearing blue jeans. I tried to wake him up before somebody spots him sleeping there. He was not too keen on staying awake. He was looking at my notebook that contained something I had wanted him to see. He was trying to figure out what is it that I found so interesting. While he was looking at the notebook, my eyes fell on his lap. Thats when I realized that he was not as lean as I thought he was. His thighs looked great. Involuntarily, my eyes moved ahead and stopped at his crotch. His tight jeans made it more attractive. Standing beside him, pretending to look at the notebook that he was peering into... was the best position. It did not last long. But, those few seconds were good enough to unlock all those carnal desires that I had suppressed in my mind for more than a year now.

From that day on, he has become the major source of distraction for me. It was not troubling until a few days back when I found myself getting upset just because he did not talk to me properly.

He was sitting next to me yesterday. His face was too close to mine. Every time I tried to look at the blackboard, I would see his face. With his slightly overgrown stubble complimenting his charming smile, he was too sexy yesterday. The proximity forced me to lose myself in the world of fantasies rather than concentrate on what I was expected to do in the class.

I don't want another crush...
Hmmm....... It seems that he has got himself into the list already!

Its not easy!

Walking along the pavement in the campus during lunch can be quite interesting. Your eyes get to see more than the usual numbers of 'hotties'. This is true... independant of your sexuality.

With my straight friend by my side, I was going towards the cafeteria when I found myself looking at a guy standing near his bike at the far end of the road. Within seconds I realized that my friend could easily spot me looking at this guy. What I didn't realize at the moment was that his eyes were busy scanning the other side of the road. While I was checking out the guy he was checking out girls.
What makes this interesting is that while I tried hard not to let him know what I was looking at, he showed no such inhibitions. This is a huge price that one has to pay to remain in the closet.

Sometimes, its tiring and frustrating to constantly hide your true feelings from those around you. More I get closer to my straight friends more I realize their openness about their sexuality. They have no problems admiring members of the opposite sex and letting others know about it. It is all the more irritating when I am expected to join
them.

It is tempting to get myself into the crowd by extending my pretentious act and try to convince them that 'I am like them'.

Living in a straight world is not all that easy!!!