No Face Value

Imaginary characters have made a successful comeback in my fantasies. With nobody to replace that which Michael has occupied for the past few months, it is only natural that I needed faceless imaginary strangers... for the obvious purpose.

Changing Dynamics

Oddity 4
Originally uploaded by Pulpolux !!!

"do not fall for the straight guys" - words of advice by a good friend...
Have I adopted this advice? Hmmm......I think I sincerely want to but am not able to... at least for now.

After trying to list the possible reasons to believe that his place in my social sphere has weakened, I realized that it has only strengthened in the last few weeks. With nobody to direct my fantasies at, I do not find it easy to remove him from my mind completely. At the same time, my attempts to follow those words adds to the mounting frustrations. The most obvious manifestation of this is longing for loneliness.... and perhaps dislike for all those around him.

The dynamics of my relationship with him continues to change. Most probably, this 'confusion' is temporary. This state is more likely to change in the near future and it would be interesting (at least to me!) to see how things turn out.

Magandeep Singh

A hot anchor is hard to find in Indian television.

Magandeep Singh is not one of those conventional 'hot' guy on screen. But, he certainly is one of the most attractive male anchors.



I have no interest in foreign countries, their life style and their food. This disinterest does not stop me from watching this guy in "Around the world in 85 plates".

You will find more about Magan here.

From Lust to Anger...

Lust is not the only feeling I have for him. More often, its anger too.
It took just a small change in the day's plan (because of him) to make me go mad. Now that I think about it, my anger was probably the result of frustration. Frustration that finds its foundation in the fact he appears to be just too straight. This and my desperation had been troubling me for the the past few weeks.



A careless act from his side was all these emotions needed to get themselves out of the confines of my caged mind... after transforming themselves into the more familiar, acceptable and easily excusable... anger.

From Mukhundha to Mutham Tha!

Exploring the possibilities of a gay angle in the story of a masked super hero, I was listening to Michael's narration of the movie. Blame my mood, I couldn't help but notice his meandering eyes. They were restless. It appeared as if he was trying his best to look straight into my eyes. That's when I realized that my leisurely posture was giving him a direct view of my crotch. I did notice his eyes lingering around my crotch every now and then. Even a momentary glance should be sufficient to infuse curiosity in me.

All these thoughts in my head led to the usual consequence. An erection at that moment would definitely attract his attention even if my guesses were incorrect. And that was too risky. I decided to try and control myself. Obviously, it was not an easy job. While sustaining the conversation, I repositioned myself frequently so that any movements near my crotch remained unknown to him.

It was evident that he was thinking of something all the while. His narration of the story was not spectacular. Who cares!!! This is the first hint (sort of!) I got from him in 2 years. I was too busy watching his moves and following his eyes and the conversation was just a formality.

When I realized that his eyes were being dragged towards my body, I made sure those brown eyes have unrestricted access. A few minutes later, he turned towards me and put his right leg over the arm rest. Sitting at 90 degrees from him in a similar chair I could see his crotch more clearly. Was that a deliberate move...? Or was he just trying to get comfortable...?

The topic shifted from superhero to a local hero! I was telling him how bad the performance of the actor was in a song in his recent movie. I forgot the first few words and he tried to help me out.... The song was "Mukhunda Mukhunda..." I heard him say "Mutham Tha Mutham Tha..." (it literally means "kiss me"). I knew that's what I heard him say.... I was not sure whether I heard him correctly. And, the second time, he said "Mukhunda... Mukhunda... " Was that all my imagination? Or was that another hint?

The gay in me was quick to assume that they were hints to be taken seriously. However, there seems to be little logic in such an assumption. The fact that he is/acts too straight at all time makes the argument weaker. Hmmmm.... like many other issues, only time can help me!!!