Doubts!!!

I saw those eyes again. This time, we were under a tree. I was too eager to meet him. It was him who wanted to meet me. I tried my best to suppress my imagination. I guess I was quite successful with that... (atleast until we started talking). Sitting there with him was quite a relief. I don’t know from what! Its probably because like his presence.

Talking to him for about half an hour was not what I enjoyed. It was the chance to look at his face that I relished. The same eyes... It was piercing me. He had his eyes bore deep into me as if it was trying to rip my mask off and explore my true Self!

Discussing some uninteresting things, we started walking to the canteen. I liked walking with him by my side. There we discussed some hardcore science. His eyes had changed rapidly. It was more of curiosity and attentiveness that I could see now.

Standing under a tree now, the topic drifted away from science to our relationship. It was not exactly what we were talking about. He did make a passing remark that brought me back to earth. "I don’t love you", or was it... "We are not lovers...", I do not remember the exact words. But, I did understand what those words meant. I tried to pretend as if that remark did not affect me. It hardly took me a second to recover.... That second was perhaps the longest second. My mind was riddled with thoughts, filled with questions, doubts... and disappointment!

It was not exactly shocking as I know quite well that he considered me as his friend and nothing more than that. It was shocking the way he said it. It was as if he had been wanting to tell me this someway or the other and that he had been waiting for the right time. My suspicion was probably a product of my imagination… But, I was ready to discard that thought very easily.

A few minutes later, we were walking back when he told me what he thinks of a best friend. His confession that he had no best friends was disheartening. What followed was more disturbing. His definition of a best friend was 'one with whom you can share everything... except sex of course!' Now This statement would have meant absolutely nothing to me. Given the state of my mind... I could not help but read between the lines.



Confusions apart, one thing is crystal clear. He is my friend. I want him to be my friend. His sexual orientation and his interests make no difference…

"Why don't you say, you love me?"

I was in the bus. This time not alone. Next to me was the guy of my dreams....

When I first saw him from the balcony of an unknown building, I was stunned by his beauty. After about 2 hours, I found myself chatting with him. When it was time to leave, we shook hands. I could feel very well, that it was more firm and affectionate than the more formal one at the beginning of our conversation that day.

This day was different. It was almost a year since our first meeting. He is no longer a good-looking stranger. He is a friend. I know more about him now. I know that he likes carnatic music, he likes pastries.... Perhaps, thats all I know about him. I have so many questions to ask him.... but don't have the courage to ask. Thats because it is our friendship that is at stake.

Friendship...... Thats how we call it. If what he said is to be believed, he finds some sort of intimacy with me that he doesn't feel with any boy in his class. Of course that was flattering, but did those words come from his heart? was he honest? While one part of my brain was busy condemning myself for suspecting him, the other part was trying to understand what goes on behind those unfathomable eyes...

There were many others in the bus. But, I could see just him.
The bus was not crowded enough. There was some distance between our bodies. That didn't bother me. It was the fact that I was spending time with him that mattered. I just wanted to talk. Just talk.... so that I can take all of his attention probably because I thought couldn't bear to see him getting distracted by any female passenger.

He got a seat. He offered me to share the little space with him. Accepting the offer would have meant feeling him completely. I denied. I didn't feel like it. Now, when I try to identify the reason for that denial, I realize that it was my fear. I was afraid that I will get to know his disinterest in me. I was not ready to face the heterosexual in him face to face.
A few minutes later, I decided to move away from him and sit at the back. There was space for just one. I couldn't bear to see him from a distance. Suddenly, those few feet seemed like a few miles. I asked him to come and sit with me. He didn't say no. Did he hesitate? If he did, it was only for a second or even less... When I tried to give him enough space, someone got up and we were able to sit more comfortably next to each other. It was the first time that I'm so close to him. Except for a few inches of air, nothing was there between us, our bodies. He had his left hand towards my back with his fingers touching my left shoulder, as if to indicate that I needed to get myself closer to him. Such thoughts continued to flow with full vigor in my mind while I heard myself speak some nonsense. hmmm..... It was not all nonsense. though that 'nonsense talk', I tried to make him feel special, not explicitly though. If he had tried to read between the lines, it would have been evident. I doubt he did that.

I saw him smile. I saw him smile more. and more...... Behind those smiles, behind those unfathomable eyes...... there was something in his mind that I could not reach out to. I realized that I was handicapped by the inability to read his mind. Sometimes, it was annoying. However, it made him more mysterious and more sexy.
It was impossible for me not to guess, what he had in his mind while those enchanting eyes were gazing my face with utmost sincerity. My guesses were too many. There was one that refused to disappear. So much so that I began identifying the sight of him with it. Its highly likely for that to be true. Imagination knows no logic.

When I saw him sitting so close to me, his face so close to me, I could hear the words, "Why don't you say you love me? ? ?"

Randy Orton!!!!!!!

Is there any guy in WWE who is sexier than orton????



hmmm....... Just couldn't resist........

What a pair?????

Its not often that you come across any reference to homosexuality on the front page in the newspaper. The shocker today was an SMS poll on gay marriage in Deccan Chronicle.

The SMS poll asks whether gay marriages should be legalised. I was pleasantly surprised to find a thumbnail picture of happy gay couple in a box on the top-left side of the front page. While the question made me smile , I couldn't help but find it ridiculous (hmmmm..... am I being too rude???). As the newspaper is for south indians, it obviously means "should gay marriage be made legal (in India)?" Its ridiculous because being gay is still a crime in India. Hmmmmm....... may be that was technically incorrect. According to section 377 of Indian Penal Code, the acts many homosexuals enjoy punishable crime. Imagine a hypothetical situation where gay marriages are legalized in India... Of course, the gay couples will be delighted and those who decide to get married may find themselves behind bars.
I think the question should have been, "should homosexuality be decriminalised in India?"

Yes, I do find the poll question ridiculous. I must accept that this is a bold attempt on part of the newspaper. I'm glad they even thought of this!
I'm curious to know how people respond.

Whatever be the result, its not going to the view of the people. The niche, that this newspaper caters to, do not represent the conservative Indian society. Also, this is an SMS poll, where only those who want to voice their views on this particular issue those who do not mind spending a rupee on SMS, participate. These two conditions bring down the number of the respondents to very few.

For, those of you, who wish to take part in this poll, type 'Y' for Yes or 'N' for No and send it to 7007 or email the same to dcpolls@deccanmail.com

This is hilarious!



"YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM, AND DONT COME OUT TILL YOU'RE NOT GAY!"
"MY SON IS A LESBIAN"
Too funny!
But, one also has to accept the fact that in the real world, many parents are not fully aware of homosexuality... Especially in India.
This clip exhibits this ignorance, but it doesn't make you feel bad! Thanks to the "Indian mother" and her comments like "COULDN'T U EVEN FIND A NICE INDIAN BOY"...