Kitne Ajeeb....

Sometimes you wonder how weird it is being gay in a straight world...

Walking into the bus stand on friday afternoon, I was quiet uncertain about my decision to take the bus. The weekend before the New Year will definitely attract many to the bus stand. I tried to convince myself that I had no other options. I cannot fool myself. The monster in me needed just an excuse. The fact that there were more buses at this time was a perfect excuse.

Once inside the bus-stand, I realized that there was no reason to worry. At least 4 of the buses standing there were my route buses. I found a seat in the least crowded one. On one hand, I'm happy that I don't have to travel in a crowded bus. And, avoid those chance encounters... but on the other hand, I was disappointed for the same reason.

Recently, I had started disliking the idea of getting physically closer to a stranger. Even unintentionally.... in the crowd...

The reason in simple words: I don't have to try too hard to hide my erection if I happened to get one and then worry about someone spotting / feeling (unintentionally or otherwise) the bulge.

While I was busy weighing the situation, people started getting into the bus. A few minutes later, only a few seats were remaining. A young boy, girl and a woman who looked like their mother got into the bus. The woman and the girl sat in the seat before me and the guy sat behind me. While I was sure the boy and the girl were siblings by the way they called each other, I did not know how the woman was related to them. Obviously, I did not pay too much attention to their conversation. I assumed her to be their their mother. As the seat next to me was unoccupied, the girl asked her brother to come and sit next to me. I had no issues. The guy did look good!

It was all too normal until after 10 minutes when the bus was caught in traffic and a young man got into the bus. He was not very handsome and was just okay. As he walked towards the conductor I saw him looking at the people around me. He got the ticket and stood near the seat before me. There was plenty of space in the bus. He chose to stand right there... next to that woman.

I was lost in my world of thoughts when I suddenly noticed something fishy happening right before my eyes. The guy was standing too close to the woman. I started paying more attention. I can easily say that the woman pretended to sleep and allowed the guy to rub his thighs on her body. There were very few people standing in the bus. That did not stop the guy (in his early 20's) from trying to feel the body of the 35+ woman... Although I cannot say with certainty whether she really liked it or not, I can say for sure that she did nothing to stop the guy from feeling her... even something as simple as shifting her position in the seat to avoid the guy's thighs or crotch...

Well, I don't care what she had in mind... What concerns me was what was going on in my head. I had always thought of myself as a non-conservative. How can I be a conservative when I strongly support gay issues...?
But, sitting there watching this happen, I cannot help but feel uncomfortable... awkward... feel angry at what these people were doing.

When I see two hot guys standing next to each other, I let myself imagine them feeling each other... When I see two guys doing it, I feel happy for the guys... But, watching a man and a woman do the same makes me feel.... uncomfortable.

Now, thats weird...

For a gay living in a straight world, its discomforting to witness a heterosexual act....

How Strange!!!