The Helical Charm

It is quite rare that I spend sunday mornings away from my bed. Yesterday was not one of those usual days. I was sitting in a class room full of strangers trying to recollect points from my lecture notes that are at least 4 years old. It was a national exam that 1000s of students in India write twice every year. Many including me, have habituated to this exam so well that it has become almost a ritual. Whats different about this time was the place. Good thing about taking this exam in a new city was that you need not worry about the possibility of running into familiar faces, especially those that would rather not. This city is better still because of the sheer number of handsome students that study here.
Not everything can be perfect, can it be? I was not alone. With a female colleague, who also happens to be a friend who thinks you are straight, with you, you can't really enjoy the scenary. :-( Adding fuel to the fire was this frustrating question- why Raj was not there? Why his centre was not the same as mine? Why can I not have a few moments with him? And, on top of all that was the characteristic frustrations about the wastefulness of writing an exam without any preparation.
However, all those nagging thoughts disappeared the instant I saw him. His charm was so overwhelming that I had to invent a reason to tell my friend why I was looking at a stranger, if she had noticed it. The excuse I could think of was the double helix on his black jacket. DNA had never looked so beautiful.
He was certainly not one of those models you would find in a TV ad. He was just i good looking young man who looked amazingly delicious to eyes. It was difficult keeping my eyes off him. His physique was similar to Raj's and a fantasy of the two making out is undoubtedly tempting.

Sadly, the fantasies are fantasies. Unreal. And one has to accept that certain things are unattainable. Here comes the obvious questions!
Why should Raj be straight? Why do I always end up liking a straight friend?
Will I ever find MY helical charm?

The Circle of Lust

New city, new languages, new places, new job, new faces, but the same old problem.

In the past few months, my journey has taken me along a couple of diversions. After my masters, I took up a job for a few months and moved to the out-skirts of the city. Before I could fall into the usual routine, I got an opportunity in Pune. It did not take me much time to decide to attend the interview. Although I was sure I would get it, I was not sure whether I am taking the right step forward.

I reached Pune one day before the interview and stayed in a hotel. With nothing much to do, I slept almost the whole day trying to get rid of the tiredness you almost always get inflicted with when you travel in Indian Railways. The next day, I reached the institute where I was supposed to attend the interview almost on time. I found myself among about 20 young men and one girl waiting to be interviewed for this position. There were two vaccancies. On one hand, I was getting nervous and on the other, I was curious to check who among the crowd was more handsome. It was not an easy task, at least not for me.

The first round got over and I was among the 5 short-listed. I was more confident by then and began paying closer attention to the other 4 men there. At one point, I was sitting between 2 guys whom I thought had a good chance of getting the job. To my left was this guy who looked good, but was too anxious. For some reason I had a strong negative vibes from him. Now that I think about it, it could have got its origin in my desire for the guy to my right. He was more handsome and was visibly cool. I spoke to him much less but desired more. I was able to feel my heart pace when he came and sat next to me to inquire about my interview experience and about the panel. I tried my best not to show this excitement to him. The fact that I was not certain about the result made it a lot easier.

The same day I started from Pune and reached home the next day. It was after more than a month that I had to go back to Pune and join. One of my friends here, who informed me about my selection told me that it was a girl who was selected along with me in the interview. It was both disappointing and surprising, for there was no girl among the candidates short-listed for the second round of interview. I thought sitting next to that guy was the closest I could get to him.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), it turned out to be wrong. I went late to the office where I had to submit my documents before joining. I had to go there with a girl, who was also there to join. Talking to her on the way, I realized that she was selected for another position in the same department that I am joining. That clarification took the shape of hope, but I was careful not to let it grow too strong. At the office, I saw him sitting with his documents and filling up forms.

May be I should call him by a name as I would be referring to him a lot of times in this post itself, and hopefully in the future posts also. Let's call him Raj.

It was on that day that I began the next lap on the circular course called life.