Unreal

I was coming out of the library when I saw someone walking out of the shopping complex. I was able to recognize her almost immediately. She was one of the few people who helped me survive the transition from a student to an employee. For some reason, I felt uneasy being there. May be, I did not want her to see me outside a library. It was probably because I never discussed with her about my decision to quit the company and going back to text-books. However, I did not try too hard to hide myself. The discomfort in the mind had not seeped into my body completely. And, I was sitting right there. She did not notice me and went with another woman she had come there with.

I do not remember what I was waiting for near the library's entrance. As I walked to the bus stop, I began wondering how my life would have changed if I had not made that decision. Now that I think about it, most of the thoughts don't make much sense. I was probably considering the possibility of getting back to the same juncture after a slightly longer detour.

Getting into the bus, I sat in one of the vacant seats and tried to take money out of my pocket. That was when I remembered that I had previously decided not to go to college that day. I was not sure whether to get the ticket or get down. The conductor was at the other end. I had to decide quickly. I got down the bus. Looking around, I realized that this was not the same as the one where I got the bus. I couldn't believe that it took me so much time that the bus reached the next stop. Now, I needed to find my way back.

I saw a group of people sitting at the other end of the long platform at the bus stop. I walked towards them hoping that the road would lead me to the main road where I would find the stop. Walking towards them, I realized they were eating. They looked like a family of daily laborers. May be they were a just group of laborers of different generations. Isn't it obvious that my eyes were more interested in the young men! There were two well built guys squatting close to the platform with their plates in their hands. To my right was the rest of the group which had an old man, a few middle aged men and if I remember correctly, an old woman. The guys were not exactly good-looking. The masculine 'aura' around them was just too strong. I saw them looking at me as I walked towards them. Although it was a platform I was walking on, I felt like an intruder trespassing into their territory.

I managed to walk past them without disturbing any of their belongings that were lying scattered around on the road. Something made me turn around. I could feel that they had noticed me turn towards them. Realizing that this awkwardness of the situation can be removed if I ask them how to get to the bus stop, I approached them. I ended up asking the guys and the old man who was now standing almost intimidated and pretending not to be. Strangely I asked them in English with hand gestures. Before I could question my choice of language, I heard someone else(one of the middle-aged men) gave me the directions that I did not understand. One of the guys realized it and interfered. He was very well composed and told me to go straight and take left... I could not take anything more than that. My sense of directions is the worst. Now, it was the old man's turn to interfere. He looked at ease now. He looked at me and said the same thing in what sounded like Malayalam with words like 'straight', 'left' and 'right' intact. I was more relaxed now and responded to him in Tamil.

I could see something strange in the face of the old man as he continued. The suspicion stemmed from the fact that his directions had become too confusing and too long. The anxiety was back again and this time I knew what it meant. I needed to get out of that place. I don't remember whether I thanked them but started walking. All I knew by then was that I had to go straight and take left. It was a narrow street. I could hear some commotion back there. I was not sure if thats my imagination, but I thought I heard the old man tell the two guys, "why did you let him go". This was accompanied by a flash of the two men standing tall and strong before the frail old man looking at me.

I started walking fast. I did not want to look back to check whether I'm being followed. The narrow street had ended and I saw a still narrower street to my left. I had started running. A woman carrying a huge load of brooms was coming towards me. As she saw me, she gave me enough space to squeeze myself between the stone wall and brooms.

Soon after, the street turned right and gave me less than a minute to choose between two roads, yet again. I took the one to my left. Once there, I seemed to recognize the place. I did not waste time when I had come to that place before. My legs seemed to know where to go. After, what felt like a few minutes, I was at the top of a spiral staircase. I have absolutely no idea how I got there. I knew for sure that I did not jump across buildings like Spider man!

I climbed down the stairs so quickly that I did not even feel dizzy. I found what appeared to be a burrow. It seemed to be the best thing to do to protect myself from the danger. I ran deep into the channel and when I could see the end of the tunnel, a huge hand came towards me. I bit it furiously as it tried to grab me. The whole of my body. The next moment, I was out of the tunnel. But, in the hands of someone. Someone so huge that his palm was bigger than me. I was lowered down to a place I recognize better. I felt at ease. I was set free. Seeing the glass cage on one side and the rest of 'my' world on the other, I felt more secure.

I became more aware of where I was. The sounds slowly started trickling in. I could feel myself moving on my bed. It was only after I opened my eyes did I realize that I was at the safety of my home... with a book on DNA by my side and my mind full of thoughts.

This mid-day dream betrayed my anxieties. Whats interesting and what made it so significant was the fact that this dream was so vivid. All my insecurities, fears and anxieties were exposed in this one dream. What I could not understand though was what I saw or rather felt during the last few minutes... the transition into the real world from the unreal.